This post will be a little longer, and a lot more organized....so here goes.
Today, after I left my class and went to just veg out, I think it sunk in that the "disconnect" I'm feeling is very much real. I'm not making it up, I can feel it.
Sure, if you just start school as a commuter, then it's not so bad. But if you lived there for 2 1/2 years, then it seems like a real issue. Looking at your friends all together, just living, going to eat together, doing things....it stirs something up inside. I'm still trying to put this together, trying to put words in their place, but it sucks. It fucking sucks.
And I'm slowly starting to wonder if I'm living a hedonistic lifestyle all of a sudden. It's been all about throwing money around, doing shit, getting out there, living for thrills. A life of pleasure, just to move the blank feelings out. It may have worked, but not as well as I hoped....
Mom says I'll get used to it. I say I don't think so.
song(s) of the moment: Eminem- Stan/Dream Theater - Pull Me Under/Filter- Where Do We Go From Here
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