Dear Religion,
After 24 years, it's time to sever the ties. I think that for the relationship to continue, there can't be a sense of being ignored or mistreated or unresponsive. Sadly, this is all but true.
God, I know you can see and hear this. Which is good, because I'm sick and tired of entrusting you to get me through life. December 21st, where were you?
Oh that's right, I prayed to you, in the hopes that on my biggest hurdle, there would be an oomph to get over, to finally live my life. Guess what? No dice.
One point. I have no idea if that's a blatant joke or something but I'm done. I'm not going to church, to group, anything involving you is out of my life.
You pulled the rug one too many times.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Vent Diagram: Horse Teeth Exam
Sigh.
Job searching through Monster is like searching for water in an oasis. Every time you see a glimpse of it, it merely was an illusion.
Case in point: job hunting and 2 different occasions I've found jobs that looked good, until I researched the company and saw reviews from people who were in the same scenario. Filed app on the website, got a call to get an interview, and then an infinite loading screen in hopes for a better day.
I just cancelled an interview based on the knowledge I obtained online about how people would go in, interview, and then sit on their asses for months until they just got sick and tired of being sick and tired and said fuck it.
Mom's saying I need to go back. If only it was that easy. Being that close to being done but having it be snatched away doesn't make the motivation to get up and go any easier.
Turning 25 with no money, and by myself without any of my friends to celebrate it is even worse. But at least the irrational hope of starting/restarting Aces Down is an end goal for the moment. Maybe that's what I need...a reason. Just a motivation to face it all and thrive. Until then, it's 2AM nights, 12PM mornings, and hating myself less and less but loving myself less and less too.
It's all neutral.
Also, today was Valentine's Day. Didn't get bitter at all. 25 years of being single and you get over that shit once you realize it's not happening.
Job searching through Monster is like searching for water in an oasis. Every time you see a glimpse of it, it merely was an illusion.
Case in point: job hunting and 2 different occasions I've found jobs that looked good, until I researched the company and saw reviews from people who were in the same scenario. Filed app on the website, got a call to get an interview, and then an infinite loading screen in hopes for a better day.
I just cancelled an interview based on the knowledge I obtained online about how people would go in, interview, and then sit on their asses for months until they just got sick and tired of being sick and tired and said fuck it.
Mom's saying I need to go back. If only it was that easy. Being that close to being done but having it be snatched away doesn't make the motivation to get up and go any easier.
Turning 25 with no money, and by myself without any of my friends to celebrate it is even worse. But at least the irrational hope of starting/restarting Aces Down is an end goal for the moment. Maybe that's what I need...a reason. Just a motivation to face it all and thrive. Until then, it's 2AM nights, 12PM mornings, and hating myself less and less but loving myself less and less too.
It's all neutral.
Also, today was Valentine's Day. Didn't get bitter at all. 25 years of being single and you get over that shit once you realize it's not happening.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Vent Diagram #3
Next time you want people to do what you want, don't make threats like "You don't go back to college, I'll bill you for 50K."
Seriously? Fuck you.
Seriously? Fuck you.
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