I need to express some hidden stuff right now.
For the past month or so, I've been consumed in a double life. One life paints me as a guy with no problems, a good head on my shoulders, and a grip on what really matters.
The other life shows a fear of falling from the tight rope and landing head first. The life of being worried with/without reason for your own life and how it could all collapse in the blink of an eye.
It's a tough thng to do, hide behind one lie, then live in the other one and switch between them at a moment's notice. Refusing to be an open book for anyone because I've seen what people can do with moments of weakness.
This week, after being driven to the breaking point, the real me is starting to break through the illusion of the "real me" I have going on. I don't know if I need to do this, or if it's the right thing but I have a sense I'll wind up losing the battle to keep it together...and just break in two again.
Fuck.
