We (the new band) signed up for the show the first day. Then last week, they pushed the show back because they f'ucked up scheduling wise and needed to fix things.
Then last night, we get the news, my friends' other bands are on the card (yes, they had other projects as well, that I was cool with) but my project is not. So answer me this...what the fuck is your problem.
Seriously. The fact that your own scheduling issues fucked me over and fucked me out of a chance to do something that for the past year or so I have imagined doing is just beyond explaining.
If this was a real promoter doing this, I wouldn't take this lying down. I'd be doing everything to expose them. But that's the problem, I can't.
If I had to explain this to non-music people, I'll put it simply: Tiquan Underwood. Patriots WR cut before the Super Bowl with 2 days left to go, and he takes it in stride, wishes the team well and roots for them in a skybox.
That's going to be me tomorrow, wishing my bandmates well and rooting for them from a remote location.
Seriously, this hurts. All that hard work and sacrifice and perhaps destruction of friendships, for nothing.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Saturday, April 21, 2012
safe in my own skin
so this is what it feels like to be normal again. not paranoid, not afraid of things going afoul. but instead breathing and enjoying every moment.
in case you don't get what i'm talking about...i'm talking about a long process where i've gone through my life and exorcised every fucking demon that held me captive in fear since fall 2010. it's a long list.
-trusting others in terms of music: that's a big one. when aces down broke up, that was just the start of my downward spiral. guilt, anger, and the inability/lack of desire to vanquish it ate me up, and every other mistake took a larger bite till there was nothing but an empty shell. after kicking it on my own, i finally got somewhere and now i'm trusting people with music again, being open, not overly worried but open to anything they say or do.
-trusting others in the area of a relationship: ok, so i'm nowhere close to falling in love again, but the ghost of ari/ally have finally gone away and now when i see a girl, i don't see the past girl's eyes but her own eyes as they are. it's good, you know, to be able to look and someone and not wonder how will they betray you but instead how can you be close and keep it going?
-college: next fall i'll be done. finally, i can put this behind me.
in short, i've become more trusting, less paranoid, and more accepting of failure. i laugh off everything that goes wrong, take the venom out of the equation and i'm better for it. it finally happened, the past is the past, not the destination i'm running from.
in case you don't get what i'm talking about...i'm talking about a long process where i've gone through my life and exorcised every fucking demon that held me captive in fear since fall 2010. it's a long list.
-trusting others in terms of music: that's a big one. when aces down broke up, that was just the start of my downward spiral. guilt, anger, and the inability/lack of desire to vanquish it ate me up, and every other mistake took a larger bite till there was nothing but an empty shell. after kicking it on my own, i finally got somewhere and now i'm trusting people with music again, being open, not overly worried but open to anything they say or do.
-trusting others in the area of a relationship: ok, so i'm nowhere close to falling in love again, but the ghost of ari/ally have finally gone away and now when i see a girl, i don't see the past girl's eyes but her own eyes as they are. it's good, you know, to be able to look and someone and not wonder how will they betray you but instead how can you be close and keep it going?
-college: next fall i'll be done. finally, i can put this behind me.
in short, i've become more trusting, less paranoid, and more accepting of failure. i laugh off everything that goes wrong, take the venom out of the equation and i'm better for it. it finally happened, the past is the past, not the destination i'm running from.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
when last we left our hero...
...he was frustrated at a lot of things going afoul. then, something changed.
instead of being angry, it was time to take action, make things happen, and never give up on things. so far, so good.
2 bands, a new side-project, one semester away from the end of college, and maybe I've got the feelings for this girl that I've seen around who just started talking to me. I think I've blown my chances, but I'm so far exorcising all these demons, one by one.
From bad feelings about bands, to girls, to school, to fear, these ghosts are dying one by one. I couldn't be any happier.
Thrice next month, shows this month. All smiles.
song of the moment: thrice - to awake and avenge the dead
instead of being angry, it was time to take action, make things happen, and never give up on things. so far, so good.
2 bands, a new side-project, one semester away from the end of college, and maybe I've got the feelings for this girl that I've seen around who just started talking to me. I think I've blown my chances, but I'm so far exorcising all these demons, one by one.
From bad feelings about bands, to girls, to school, to fear, these ghosts are dying one by one. I couldn't be any happier.
Thrice next month, shows this month. All smiles.
song of the moment: thrice - to awake and avenge the dead
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